Those who have served at war together have a connection that is difficult to explain. I will start this blog by explaining how I felt after getting out of the Army in late 2004.
My Battalion deployed to Iraq from 2003 to 2004 during the initial occupation year of the conflict. After arriving home in 2004 and going on vacation with my wife and then only daughter, I sat with a retention NCO and got out of the military. My wife knew at the time how difficult of a decision it was for me to make, and she almost demanded that she come along to ensure I signed on the line to get out instead of Re-Up.
I became depressed when many of my fellow brothers and sisters-in-arms were deployed back to Iraq. It baffled me. There I was, back from a war zone and happy to be with my family safe at home. Why was I feeling sick to my stomach because I wasn't getting thrust back into a war I wanted nothing to do with anymore? It's because those people going back over were also my family.
It made me feel horrible that I wasn't going to be there to support my brothers and sisters. I wasn't going to be there to stand with my family and take on whatever came next in Iraq.
I am writing this blog for a very important reason. I was able to deal with many of the thoughts and feelings I came home from war with. It took some counselling, but I dealt with it, and still deal with it from time to time. After going through war, you are never quite the same, but you find ways to cope. The problem is, many don't find ways to cope. Even I today battle with the changes that have occurred in me. I am loud, and when I argue, I am extremely loud. The problem is that the way I sound is likely not as mad as the way I feel. I have went through that with my family for years and continue to struggle with it.
If you are a veteran who has a good grip on your own issues, reach out and help a veteran in need. My battalion has done a fairly good job of remaining connected for the most part through the years. There are still some brothers and sisters I check in with regularly because they have a very hard time. In some cases, the VA did nothing but put a bandaid on a bullet wound by throwing medication to veterans I know, when what they really needed was medication and psychological help. In some cases, that vicious cycle of different meds led to suicide rather than led the veteran down a path toward self-coping.
If you aren't a veteran but know one who needs help or who you think needs help, reach out to a veteran you know to check in, or reach out to one of the many organizations out there who can provide help and assistance. Know that in most cases, veterans who are truly in need look at reaching out for help as showing weakness. They will likely internalize their issues to the point they can not longer cope. Then suicide or mental breakdown is the result. So don't be afraid to reach out to someone who can help.
If you are a veteran who struggles from time to time or daily, don't be too proud to reach out. You can always reach out to me, someone you know, or any of the organizations out there that will be glad to assist you in coping with your issues. It doesn't show weakness to ask for help. It shows strength. Don't put yourself through the turmoil of dealing with your issues when you can get help.
Conservatively, a veteran takes their own life every 65 minutes of every day. These are people who signed up to make the ultimate sacrifice if needed, and the system is failing them.
Why do I say the system is failing them? When we came back from Iraq, landed at Scott AFB, and then ultimately at Fort Leonard Wood, we were on post for just a few days before being sent home. We lined up, hundreds of us, and signed documents saying we talked to doctors, were checked out, and that everything was rainbows and butterflies. I never talked to a doctor, and was never checked out. The military talks very highly about re-integration policies, but I will tell your right now that those policies were nonexistent when I came home in 2004.
When I arrived home with my wife and then 3 1/2 year old daughter (she was 2 when I left), I didn't know how to be a husband or a father at first. Everything was strange and felt alien. The reason for that is because the Army didn't do anything to prepare any of us for reintegration to regular life.
To clarify, it isn't just veterans who need assistance. There are so many others who do as well, but I am concentrating this blog on veterans because that is what I know and what I have seen. Being shot at, taking life, seeing the death and destruction that war brings; these are all things that can never be unseen. They stick with someone for life. It isn't about getting over it, but rather learning to cope with it and move on. Without help, many veterans will never get to move on.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-8255
The number I just listed is vitally important and can be the difference between suicide and life for so many people. If you cannot personally help a veteran, try to get them to at least make the call; Be it to another veteran who can help, or even better, to the number above. There are also countless non-profits out there who will get them the help they need with just a little online research. They will usually not do the research on their own, but with a little help from others, they can get the help they need and be on a path to leading the lives they deserve to lead after the selfless service to country.
Thank you for reading. Please share this and on Twitter, ReTweet to spread the word.
Until next time,
DUNK
If you are a veteran who has a good grip on your own issues, reach out and help a veteran in need. My battalion has done a fairly good job of remaining connected for the most part through the years. There are still some brothers and sisters I check in with regularly because they have a very hard time. In some cases, the VA did nothing but put a bandaid on a bullet wound by throwing medication to veterans I know, when what they really needed was medication and psychological help. In some cases, that vicious cycle of different meds led to suicide rather than led the veteran down a path toward self-coping.
If you aren't a veteran but know one who needs help or who you think needs help, reach out to a veteran you know to check in, or reach out to one of the many organizations out there who can provide help and assistance. Know that in most cases, veterans who are truly in need look at reaching out for help as showing weakness. They will likely internalize their issues to the point they can not longer cope. Then suicide or mental breakdown is the result. So don't be afraid to reach out to someone who can help.
If you are a veteran who struggles from time to time or daily, don't be too proud to reach out. You can always reach out to me, someone you know, or any of the organizations out there that will be glad to assist you in coping with your issues. It doesn't show weakness to ask for help. It shows strength. Don't put yourself through the turmoil of dealing with your issues when you can get help.
Conservatively, a veteran takes their own life every 65 minutes of every day. These are people who signed up to make the ultimate sacrifice if needed, and the system is failing them.
Why do I say the system is failing them? When we came back from Iraq, landed at Scott AFB, and then ultimately at Fort Leonard Wood, we were on post for just a few days before being sent home. We lined up, hundreds of us, and signed documents saying we talked to doctors, were checked out, and that everything was rainbows and butterflies. I never talked to a doctor, and was never checked out. The military talks very highly about re-integration policies, but I will tell your right now that those policies were nonexistent when I came home in 2004.
When I arrived home with my wife and then 3 1/2 year old daughter (she was 2 when I left), I didn't know how to be a husband or a father at first. Everything was strange and felt alien. The reason for that is because the Army didn't do anything to prepare any of us for reintegration to regular life.
To clarify, it isn't just veterans who need assistance. There are so many others who do as well, but I am concentrating this blog on veterans because that is what I know and what I have seen. Being shot at, taking life, seeing the death and destruction that war brings; these are all things that can never be unseen. They stick with someone for life. It isn't about getting over it, but rather learning to cope with it and move on. Without help, many veterans will never get to move on.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-8255
The number I just listed is vitally important and can be the difference between suicide and life for so many people. If you cannot personally help a veteran, try to get them to at least make the call; Be it to another veteran who can help, or even better, to the number above. There are also countless non-profits out there who will get them the help they need with just a little online research. They will usually not do the research on their own, but with a little help from others, they can get the help they need and be on a path to leading the lives they deserve to lead after the selfless service to country.
Thank you for reading. Please share this and on Twitter, ReTweet to spread the word.
Until next time,
DUNK
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